How to communicate in French using only 3 words..

French is a piece of cake if you know the exact 3 words to use.. Yeah, the rest of the French dictionary is totally useless. In fact you already know most of those words anyway.. Just say an English word with the stupid French accent. It will work 90% of the time.

Well, having said this.. Behold! Cause I give you the three most important words in that language. They are: “ça”, “va” and “pas”.

You see, “Ça va?” actually means “How’s it goin’?”. But with the right attitude it can mean almost everything. For example, you come along to a friend and you want to greet her. You ask her “Ça va?” with a happy face. Guess what she replies back? “Ça va!”.. Yeah it also means “It’s goin’ well..” So now, she asks you “Ça va?” to greet you back, or just to be polite or perhaps she is in love with you, i don’t know.. So the whole conversation is something like this:

-Ça va?
-Ça va! Ça va?
-Ça va!

If everything’s not going well, you add our third key word “pas” at the end. “Ça va pas..”

Of course this is not the only use of the phrase “ça va”.. If you get angry at someone, and have a attitude like this guy down here, “Ça va?” becomes: “What the hell are you doing?”.

Or perhaps you are dancing alone with two girls and you’d like to close the deal.. With both of them. So, you make that Joey Tribbiani expression [How you doin’?] and ask them “Ça va?” –Is it ok if i take you both home and we have a threesome.. The answer will be “Ça va..” or “Ça va pas!” depending on your overall sexuality.

As you can see the meaning of the phrase varies everytime. So forget about taking those French lessons and start working on your facial expressions..

the national is coming to my town

First things first.. The National, the band whose ultimate überness reminds me of my own, is coming to my town this friday night.. Yeah, my town is awesome. You really should go see them, if you happen to live here in istanbul.. Or any other place on their tour. I don't care.. By the way, if you possess one of those ignorant minds filled with crap and haven't heard of this band before, you should watch their great video, Mistaken for Strangers.. Also, read the lyrics, will you? It's probably one of the greatest pieces of literature you're ever gonna read, anyway..

you have to do it running but you do everything that they ask you to
cause you don’t mind seeing yourself in a picture
as long as you look far away, as long as you look removed
showered and blue-blazered, fill yourself with quarters
showered and blue-blazered, fill yourself with quarters

you get mistaken for strangers by your own friends
when you pass them at night under the silvery, silvery citibank lights
arm in arm in arm and eyes and eyes glazing under
oh you wouldn’t want an angel watching over
surprise, surprise they wouldn’t wannna watch
another uninnocent, elegant fall into the unmagnificent lives of adults

make up something to believe in your heart of hearts
so you have something to wear on your sleeve of sleeves
so you swear you just saw a feathery woman
carry a blindfolded man through the trees
showered and blue-blazered, fill yourself with quarters
showered and blue-blazered, fill yourself with quarters

you get mistaken for strangers by your own friends
when you pass them at night under the silvery, silvery citibank lights
arm in arm in arm and eyes and eyes glazing under
oh you wouldn’t want an angel watching over
surprise, surprise they wouldn’t wanna watch
another uninnocent, elegant fall into the unmagnificent lives of adults

you get mistaken for strangers by your own friends
when you pass them at night under the silvery, silvery citibank lights
arm in arm in arm and eyes and eyes glazing under
oh you wouldn’t want an angel watching over
surprise, surprise they wouldn’t wannna watch
another uninnocent, elegant fall into the unmagnificent lives of adults